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MissLadywood 51F
6195 posts
8/17/2018 1:27 pm

    Quoting  :

I have no doubt that it was duly noted by many ... and for some they even forget to read

Which is a shame as this is fabulous stuff. A whole new perspective on the 'search'
and a way to open up new avenues.
There will be some folks whom it might not work for ... but then you can't know anything for sure unless you give it a try.
Personally i would be a little apprehensive to try the vanilla route.
Of course most of the men are up for a kinky lady ... these days more than ever i would assume. But when i look back on my vanilla relationships it's a little off putting. Either they were only willing to go so far or wanted to be dominated themselves.
And while you can teach someone the skills sexually ... the connection and mental aspects of D/s i'm not so sure.
In vanilla relationships i was always the strong one leading it ! Being submissive, not just sexually, takes time and patience from another as i am prone to assert myself and have tantrums hahaha
I can give off that 'i'm a woman in charge' viibe and vanilla men tend to not understand that i can be a strong submissive woman. They ultimately just want the strong bit.
Having said all that, when i'm next searching i might be inclined to give it a shot. I have found that relationships happen with the most amazing people through unexpected avenues

Thank you for this .... i do like me some food for thought

Life So Short, The Craft So Long To Learn


anteater14 61M
2229 posts
8/17/2018 2:31 pm

How I have missed your deep-thinking when you went away - so good to see you back.

So who is actually lonely - I would say that is how the person is wired. I will throw in the concept that LadyFriend might be away for four months out of six, yet loneliness isn't a feeling I exhibit that much until month 3 of her being away.

I also like the concept of the sub training the dom - it hasn't entirely worked for me and I sense that I'm becoming a CD-lesbian dom over my new sub, as she isn't taking to being in charge that well, but perhaps giving up a little more would help.

D xxx

Carpe Diem - the past is history, and the future is bleak.


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
9/4/2018 1:16 pm

Perhaps no wonder why male suicide rates are higher then too? If they feel they don’t have anyone to talk to... x


aHedonist 51M
7510 posts
9/7/2018 7:11 pm

I think: there are those who are realistic in terms of searching for a kindred soul(s), and those who are not.
and I think that in those whose expectations would be broadly classed as realistic there are those who are more open to negotiation then others.

Ultimately relationships are about needs, wants and desires and while it's possible to compromise on wants and desires it is a recipe for failure to compromise on ones needs beyond a certain point - and those needs may not be necessarily of a sexual nature.

For myself... meh. I know myself well enough to know that it could be several forevers before I find another partner (if I ever do at all). It is what it is, and I have been alone but not lonely in my life before. There is a strength in that (not needing a relationship to feel complete) but its also perhaps an Achilles heel of self fulfilling prophecy.
The dichotomy of John perhaps? Or is it a linear step from "wont settle" to "better off without anything less"? Know thyself they say, but sometimes that knowing is a cold comfort indeed, or a series of inherent contradictions.

My regards to Troy, as always.



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